Something I struggle with on a daily basis is slowing down, forgetting about everything I need to do before I hit the pillow (finally), and simply taking the time to enjoy the life I have. I think everyone struggles with this, but I have to say – adult life, the “real world,” is so much different than I thought it would be. Not necessarily in a bad way, just different.
Our life has been particularly hectic lately with all the events I’ve been planning in my free time. Getting ready for one of my best friend’s big day and the arrival of my sis-in-law’s baby. Not to mention Codee and baby have been passing sickness back and forth for the past three weeks – I was out with strep for two days earlier this week. Oh and we are in the “middle” (I see no end at this point so I’m not really sure) of a basement remodel as well. You know, that’s on the side, in between all of our (my?) other little projects and items on the “honey do list.”
So here is a little look at my everyday life. Part of this is confirmation for myself, that I’m not the only one struggling to get my “to do list” completed everyday. The other part is for anyone reading feeling the same way. Like there is never enough time in the day. Never enough time to complete your duties and chores and also enjoy what you’ve been given. I try to do a little of both – and fail frequently – but as long as you wake up the next day and try again, I think you’re doing great.
Each morning before work is a set of tasks awaiting me as I rise out of bed. Shower (if I didn’t oversleep), get dressed, brush hair and teeth, apply at least deodorant – hopefully I have time to swipe some mascara on as well. Then it’s out to the kitchen where I realize I am already running late and curse myself for not preparing my lunch (and hubby’s) the night before. Throw it all together, put on my shoes.
Ok, now to get baby ready. This is one moment of the day I do try to take a few seconds and appreciate my little girl. She is usually still sleeping as I lift her out of bed and carry her to the changing table. I’ll hold her a few moments longer, kiss her forehead, and look at myself holding her in the mirror. I’m not sure why I do this, but I like to analyze how much she has grown in my arms. How long do her legs dangle down my body? How wide do I have to hold my arms to cradle her? Some mornings take me longer than others to set her on the dresser and get her ready, but those longer mornings I am trying to memorize how she feels in my arms, how she looks at this very moment.
It’s usually not a fight to get her dressed and the diaper changed (ok sometimes two diapers, little stink), but if I have to suck boogers or give her any medicine – that’s a task. At the same time I am hoping Codee fed the dog so I don’t have to before I leave. Did I forget anything? Out the door. “Crap my phone. Ok, now let’s go.”
Speed to the daycare. Insert another moment I usually take my time: I very rarely drop her off in her carseat and just dash out the door. No matter how late I am running I take the time to unbuckle her, give her a squeeze and a kiss, and then hand her over to the sitter. Maybe it’s because you never know what will happen throughout the day, or maybe it’s because it is still hard for me to leave her, but no matter any other circumstances, she is the most important thing in my life. And to me that means she doesn’t deserve or need to be rushed and overlooked.
Work is work is work right now. I enjoy my job, but I have a lot of dreams to chase in the years to come. I struggle with the fact I don’t have my dream job though. And that I’m not with my daughter all day, watching her learn. Sometimes I worry I’m not being the best worker I can be or the best mother. Have I made the right career choices? Followed the correct paths? For today I am just blessed to be employed, doing something I enjoy in a nice workplace, and I have the ability to help support my family.
After work – speed to daycare. Hug that little girl and smother her with kisses. I can’t say we have a typical day in the evenings. This spring Codee is in class three nights a week finishing his MBA, but I try to keep a steady schedule amongst baby and myself. I try.
Work out. Play time. Make dinner. Dishes. “No, don’t eat that!” Vacuum. Laundry. “Quit dropping that!” Pick up messes. Sweep the floor. Feed the dog. Spend time outside. Cuddle up inside.
“So much mail.” “Oh I have a craft I want to do.” “Ugh I need to finish this project!” “Our basement is in remodel fiasco phase.” “Let’s hang this frame.” “Let’s paint this.” “Let’s make this.” “Why does everything cost so much?” “We are so poor.” “Why don’t we have more time?” “We are broke.” “Let’s build a shed.” “Can’t we just lay here and watch Netflix all day?” “Let’s buy a boat.” Pah! Like we have time for that!
10 pm everyone is finally done running for the day. I share conversation with my hubby before we hit the hay – my mind running wild about what didn’t get done today and what needs to get done tomorrow. Or this weekend. Or what am I forgetting to tell him that’s on the schedule? Oh yeah I need to go to the store and buy milk. And juice. And bread. It never ends.
An actual conversation between Codee and I …^^^^ today…..
But that’s ok, because at the end of the day I still have him – he made me laugh at dinner when he told me a story about his coworker. He made me smile when he kissed my head after a long night home alone taking care of the baby while he was in class. He made me feel safe when we cuddled in bed.
No I didn’t get all the dishes done and I ran out of time before vacuuming the dog hair off the floor. But that’s ok, because at the end of the day I still have her – she laughed so hard she spit peas everywhere. She crawled behind the couch and played peek-a-boo with me. She shut her finger in a kitchen drawer and let me kiss her “boo boo.” She drank out of a sippy cup for the first time. She fell asleep in my arms.
It absolutely blows my mind how busy my life is. Now, without a child I may have more free time – especially in the evenings – but even so I never realized how much time we actually spend working. 40 hours, Monday through Friday, is SO much of our life. I think about our future when we have multiple children in various activities – all which take up time in the evenings and on weekends. How do you people get anything done?! I suppose you just adjust – but I seriously cannot fathom it at this point. I am flailing now, how will I ever keep up? It’s a daunting thought.
One day at a time. That’s all I can do to get my self through. Try to tackle as much as I can, but truthfully, there will always be things left on my to do list. Maybe one day it won’t be a chore, but instead a forgotten dream. Or a place to travel to. Or someone I want to reach out to. Whatever it is, it can wait until tomorrow – today is mine and I am going to make the most of it.
Thanks for reading! Until next time!
Lots of Love, Katie
wildly widler 
How do you keep yourself motivated? Charlotte is in a phase where she doesn’t want me to put her down. She will only nap if i’m holding her, and if I put her down, she screams bloody murder. I feel like I can’t get anything done. There are days where I don’t even leave the couch because she is laying in my arms and i’m afraid to move and upset her. And on her good days, I can’t seem to find the motivation to do much of anything. Ugh.
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Don’t worry it will end eventually! Collins did the same thing – keep trying to lay her down (but if you can’t, it’s OK), possibly try swaddling? Have you tried laying her in a boppy pillow? That seemed to imitate my arms since the pillow surrounded her. She would never let me lay her flat for the longest time. I could CAREFULLY set Collins in the boppy occasionally and she would continue to sleep. Another thing I did when she was awake and I had some motivation was put her in a carrier that I could strap to myself. Do you have one of those? It allowed her to be close to me, but I had my hands free to do chores. And she fell asleep in it a lot too!
I had days like that as well though, spending hours on the couch holding her. It was worse when she was more active, but couldn’t yet crawl. She wanted my constant attention, but didn’t necessarily want to be held. Now that she is mobile it is “easier” to get things done, but I have to watch her 50X as much because she can get into anything. Every phase will have pros and cons, and every baby is different so some people will struggle more or less at different stages. Don’t beat yourself up about not being motivated or not completing tasks. There are days each week where I can’t motivate myself to do what needs to be done. Nowadays I try to find ways to interact with Collins that let her “help” with the chore (plays with kitchen utensils while I do dishes, pulls laundry out of dryer while I fold, etc), but when she was littler and I needed to put her down to do something I would sing whatever I was doing/sing my actions and that would entertain her quite a bit! And help me stay in a positive mood lol
Just don’t get down on yourself! And remember that one day she might not let you hold her anymore – so enjoy even the most frustrating parts of each phase!
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